I miss you all.

Fool

Hey. I'm waiting for you. I'm not going to initiate things, but I'm going to just sit back and see what happens.

I wish I had feelings for someone, that'd be nice.

I want to cherish someone. I want to love someone.

I want to give my all to someone.

:)

Where are you loverboy. Come and embrace me already.

Boo.

I feel like my feelings are deteriorating.

I don't remember a time I've ever actually considered myself happy.

You know when people ask you how you're doing ? And most people are like oh, I'm doing good, I'm fine, blah blah blah ... and then people don't actually get into how they're feeling maybe because they aren't talking to the right person, or they are too busy to explain, or .. maybe they just don't want to talk about it, or even another reason.

Either way, for however many years that has passed, I've never been able to actually say, "Oh! I'm doing good." or "oh, i'm really happy with my life right now."

I just remembered how my SAT math teacher over the summer randomly asked her students including me, whats your level of happiness? Are you happy?

and I started thinking ... I don't know what number I rated, probably a 5? or something... but eh.

LOL shit, nowadays its not like I put up a front with a fake smile, of course I can smile, but its just that.. overall I'm not happy.

I can blame myself for this reason, but there are still a lot of other factors for why I'm upset and shit. Whatever though too cause that's life.

As cliche as it is, life is like a goddamn rollercoaster because whenever you're at a happy point, it always goes back down.... and I guess thats why the happy moments count more and should outshine the bad ones ...

LOL ?

Time to do homework.

SAT on saturday? no bueno.

Tumblr & Formspring.

Hm. just incase people are interested in .. what I post and shit. LOL dunno, blogblogblogs pictures music whatever the fuck.

http://ilovechantel.tumblr.com

&

http://www.formspring.me/extravagance

Update.

I need to update. Kinda?

+ haircut

+talked to michy after a month

+ SAT's fuck.

+ goal

+ school

+tea

+ tumblr

+ books

+ what the fuck else do I write about.

New music playlist, hooray.

NEW LOVEEEEEEEEEEE

Over.

I'm over it.

So I never started on you, so I can't say I'm over you.

There was a chance for you and me, but because there was no action taken place, there is nothing.

Hm.

So I should actually update my entries for what I did want to say.

I'm eating an apple right now. CAHSEE for sophomores today and tomorrow.. meaning I go to school around 11. CHYEA.

Oh, I'm skipping 1st period today though to finish my research assignment for history.

chompchomp. Maybe I'll just control my anger at my mom by laughing at her, who knows? Could piss her off but at least it won't be pissing me off.

She had the nerve to say "YOU'RE RAISING YOUR VOICE" at me the other day because I always say that to her. rofl, please.

Who did I learn it from? Who did I learn to talk back and yell ? Sup mom.

fuck you. LOL

QUESTION.

CAN YOU GET OFF MY FUCKING NUTS?

I'd like to say.

I miss you Amber.

What the fuck?

Really.

Friday Night

Saved for party.

FUCKMEEEEEEEEE

FUCKMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

So apparently maybe Jackie likes someone.

Boy is hella fine.

Thats not my point.

I'm having an emotional breakdown right now. Stress from finals is probably one of the reasons why but damn, something else sure triggered it.

What am I doing, what am I making him do to me, whats happening.

I'm in emotional distress.

& he's also on the side, waiting for me; I don't want to lead him on.

SDLKFJ

Hella fucking irritated.

Good DAY ?

I'll talk about this later.

Menopause

You're on your period or some shit, don't talk to me.

You bitch at me in the car and I'm silent about it, no biggie.

I come home, do laundry, ask you where my two hoodies go and you respond with some smartass answer, "Did you even bring them home?" The fuck woman, who the hell takes off their hoodie when its this cold outside.

HAVE YOU BEEN OUTSIDE?

Just cause you're on your period doesn't mean you have to talk so sweetly to your husband and NOT YOUR CHILD? What the fuck man.

Don't be a bitch to me just cause you can. I can do the downright same but do you see me doing that? Hell no.

Fuck man.

LOL

Doing what Pat does. HAHAHA

Formspring

Just felt like getting one since I use tumblr and... some others have formspring [:

http://www.formspring.me/extravagance