Ugh.

I can't get over the fact that I already finished You're Beautiful.

Goddammit, anyone recommend dramas?

Booshiet.

♥

Fed up.

I'm fed up with all of this.

I'm not the only one either.

Edit:

Holymotherphuqpeopleareannoyingjesuschrist.

People.

People are annoying.

Holyjesus.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

DAMMIT.

IT'S OVER.

ITS DONE. THROUGH. DONE. DAMMIT.

Finally watching a drama after around 1 year, I'm satisfied, h'ohshite.

Pissed already?

Okay so, I just arrived at my grandparents' house in San Francisco ...

I went downstairs to greet my cousins and then uhh .. So apparently one of my cousin comes out of the shower and is like, "HEY. Im going to volunteer, do you want to come?" Usually when I come here I spend time with him cause we're close like that... So anyway, I ask my parents if I can go and my mom's like uhhh.. I don't know, ask Daddy. So I ask my dad and he asks where it is first.. The place is fine and has a lot of friendly people but uhh.. then he's like, "Well ... you know ... what if we have to wait for you to come back? You might not have enough time? You don't know when you're coming back. Mkay, don't go, mkay?"

FUCK THAT SHIT. Hella mad. I already had to cancel my plans to hang out with CHANTELLLLL today because of a dinner party I have to go to tonight and my parents didn't want me to be anywhere but here..

What the fuck.

I could spend my time giftwrapping for children but instead I'm ... sitting here blogging about my rage and about to play audition or something.

Hell I might even play counterstrike or .... OMGPOP, something obviously less productive than helping the greater good.

Sonovabitch.

Don't you hate it when people give you the most bullshit reasons, especially parents when they don't know what else to say?

I didn't want to argue with him either because earlier today I didn't wake up on time and he's like, "What can we do? Our daughter's useless." & shit like that.

Fuck that, my god. Instead of going without my parents' consent, I should've just went.

goodnight blog

thank you. today was a nice day.

1) got piano finally fixed in the morning. time for my fingers to do their magic once again.

2) HALMUNI FINALLY IS ALIVE OHMYGOD.

3) I found out I get to hang out with someone I've been meaning to hang out with.

4) last night vancouverites' video of them all hanging out made me smile like no other, i love you all. ♥

4) I finally get to spend time with my beloved family tomorrow.

merry christmas eve.

this is the type of friend I have.

Name withheld:

*rofl omg

*fuck you

*love you too

*smd. kbye

Jackie jaggeun harabuji is eating those wontons said (7:57 PM):

*WHAT THE FUCK

*WHAT KINDA

:[

Blog, meet Justin.

where'd you go

I miss you so, seems like its been forever since you've been gone, please come back home.

where are you halmuni.

i miss you..

saranghae. [: I'll learn more korean so then I can speak in yo` language.

Maybe I'll call you tomorrow.

♥

where are you

?!?!

So I hung out with Justin today for the first time in two years.

I'll edit this later.

I just woke up from ... falling asleep? LOL. Goddammit I planned on staying asleep but eh :x

Boooooo. I have a dentist appointment in the morning.

JESUS LOVES ME

Jackie jaggeun harabuji says:

*I AM A FUCKING JESUS LOVER.

amber - FUN & SNOW ^__^ says:

*LMFAO<3

Jackie jaggeun harabuji says:

*!!!!!!!!!!!!

*DID YOU HEAR ME

amber - FUN & SNOW ^__^ says:

*jesus loves you ^__^

*this you know ^__^

OHOLYCHRISTOFALAHJESUSLOVESME.

godblessyouall.

-----------------------------------------

I'm sorry if you're actually Christian and I'm offending you.

LOL MY CHEEK CELL IS MOVING

"Today, I was in my advanced biology class and we were viewing slides we had made of our cheek cells. My biology teacher told us a story about the first year he had been teaching. A girl had made a slide of her cheek cells and had abruptly exclaimed "Mr. Barner! One of my cheek cells is moving!" He had gone over to inve...stigate and discovered that the moving cheek cell had been a sperm. He had to leave the room."

LOL , my friend just copied and pasted it to me but I don't know where its from. FML ? Some other website.

HAHAHA

Great.

I fucking broke my mic.

Fuck.

SDLKFJDKLSJFDLKSFJKLSJDLKJFl

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

YOU FUCKING WOULD WOULDN'T YOU

ROFLDKSJFDSFSDJFDSJFSDFDSFD.

YELLED AT YOUR BITCHASS..

I WONDER WHY IM CUSSING AT YOU NOW TOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[:

loltoday

LOL fuck today.

okay.

SLDKJFDSLJFDKJFDKfj

KLDSJFJDSFSJDFJSFJDSF.

LOL WHAT THE FUCK?

My head is throbs like a bitch and what do you do? Yell your fucking head off at me. I don't even YELL BACK at you. FUCK, I should've blasted your fucking head off, my fucking god. I just stand there and close my eyes trying block out your loud ass fucking, bitchyass, sonovabitch's voice.

LOL I DON'T GET HOW MY GRANDPARENTS GAVE YOU YOUR LOUDASS FUCKING GENES.

WOWOWOOWOW, I hope I'm never like you. You know what, I NEVER WILL be like you, fuck you.

FUCK YOU.

You tell me to sleep till Daddy comes back home so then I can start homework ..

And now you blame me like its my fault for not getting up at 11 when last night you rejected what I told you.

I said I wanted to be woken up at 11 and you're like WHY THE FUCK? ITS ALREADY 8. WHY 11? OHMYGODOODODD I want to sleep after I watch this and shower OHMYGODODODODOD.

Shut the fuck up. Like you actually need to learn how to shut the fuck up. Your voice is worse than old Cantonese women at a party; you beat them all by FAR.

So then I wake up at 11 and go back to sleep waiting for my dad to come back home ... Okay so, its 4:34. ROFL WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?

You told me Daddy would come back home at like.. 1:30 or .. 2 or something because you're like, "Oh ! He's coming back early." Bitch, shut the fuck up and sit down.

So after being woken up by BOTH of you .. I'm like okay .... I'm going to get up after thinking of how I'm going to structure my .. 6paged essay thang.

Holymotherfucker?

And THEN ... SUDDDEENLLYY you guys come and then start yelling and then ... What the fuck, you GO OFF ABOUT how I don't get up and how I'm wasting time and then YOU YELL YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF ABOUT HOW I SHOULD'VE JUST WOKEN UP AT 11.

LOL WHAT THE FUCK. That was my initial plan and then we changed it to wake me up at 10 and you wake me up at 11:30 ??????????????????????????????????????

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

I want to say I fucking hate you, but I don't really, but I'm so mad at you cause you blame everything on me and you're fucking retarded.

I shouldn't even ask my parents for help to wake up but I'm so fucking tired that I need help.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I ASK MY PARENTS for HELP?

LOL NO.

You're so fucking annoying.

Fuck you.

----------------------------------------

Edited at 4:52PM today:

Lol yup, fuck you, fuck today too.

LOL FUCK YOU TOO.

I'm done, fuck this.

I Need

I need a massage.

What are you blind?

Jesus christ. Okay, I'm sorry I used that term but holyshit.

So I fell asleep around 8 PM while deciding whether I should sleep or ... not sleep since I was wondering where a particular person was. (HEYMAN, if you're reading this you better realize I was being serious).

Actually, if you see this, I'd like to say that ... Well. I'd never be mad that you have to go because I know you have to sleep. Its just that when you want to talk to someone and then you can't ... well, yeah. I also feel that I need to stop putting people over myself, I realized that a few hours ago. I really didn't go nap after school because I was hoping you'd be online or ... I'd be able to talk to you. Ah, I don't know, nevermind. I guess I'm just being a fool and complaining about the fact that I didn't sleep because I put you over myself when initially you never asked me to do that and I just acted on my own. Lol whatever. Do what you want.

Anyway. What triggered my emotions to blog .... at 3:40 AM is because .. Okay so I slept at 8, woke up at 12AM, was alive for an hour so I slept again at 1AM.

My dad just got home and he's like asking me about homework and stuff because he knew I was awake .. then I'm like yeah okay thats great so I keep sleeping and then he barges into my room and is like, " Aren't you waking up? I'm about to sleep and I know you can't get up." Blah blah blah random more shit. Then he randomly brings up how he saw me "playing a game" as I came home.

ROFL BULLSHIT. A GAME? The fuck. Thats cnn.com bitch, put on some lenses. Fuck, its pissing me off lately how my parents accuse me of playing games when I'm NOT. LOL shit , I didn't even play any game yesterday because I didn't want to/didn't feel like it/did homework.

Jesuschrist calm your tiredass down, just go to sleep, goddamn.

I'm just all pissed off and shit, fuck. I'm getting even more mad now that I think about it. I guess I'll go shower.

&

.... Continued about the person above I was addressing whatever I was to:

Okay now I feel bad about the way I just said goodnight. Fuck man, I don't know. LOL ACTUALLY. YOU KNOW WHAT. I don't know, fuck this.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Fuck you. Fuck you too. Fuck you as well, shit.

Falling

I'm slipping.

I'm slowly slipping, I'm losing grasp and falling.

I don't know what to do anymore.

These Days

Lol I feel like everytime I talk to my parents now I get scolded. I just got scolded ...

My dad thinks I play games all day long when actually today I've been reading shit on cnn, times and nytimes. He's like, " I KNEW YOU WERE PLAYING GAMES WHEN MOMMY AND I WENT ON A WALK." No you fucking shit sir, I was lying down in bed looking at my book. He complains how I don't do shit in the house but what is there to do... I'm not going to go wash some windows just cause they're there and not even that dirty ... sweep the floor? Thats already been done. Cleanout the bathrooms ... no need. Wash the dishes? I do them when I can/ if my parents haven't done them already. VACCUUM? K well, I don't really have chores but .. sometimes I dont' feel the need to just do this things just cause I can. Its just like .. I can go clean out the yard if I wanted to but am I going to do that? No, not really. If my parents asked me to sure but .. no ? They don't even do that so why should I. Thats a bad way to look at it but still.

I do laundry at least. I do trash too. What else am I supposed to do. My dad just complained how all I do is stay in my room all day long and they don't know what I'm doing. YEAH OKAY, YOU AREN'T IN MY ROOM 24/7. Shut the fuck up. My dad's like, "Oh you should go downstairs when you're studying so we know what you're doing."

Okay first of all, when you guys are downstairs the television is always on and I always get wrapped up in whatever you're watching so thats a no. I also don't like the uncomfortable chairs downstairs nor do I want to bring all my textbooks/paper/other materials downstairs just to bring them up again. When I"m studying or working on homework, I tend to have a lot of papers or whatever I need spread out everywhere so whenever I'm working, my desk seems kind of messy, but I know where everything is.

Second of all, I used to go downstairs and do my homework but you guys are always upstairs and then once I go back upstairs, you guys don't even realize I was downstairs studying. Whats the point. I have my own room for a reason. Its called my room. I can't even lock my door cause you guys won't let me but if I could I would so yourbitchass wouldn't come barging in and then annoying/pissing me off .. okay, I have a bad habit of getting really irritated when people barge in while I'm trying to do homework, and then TELLING me to do homework when I clearly am/have been already. Its annoying and not necessary. Funny, I wrote an essay about my parents bothering me freshmen year with my hardass English teacher and I actually got an A. Aha.

This is so frustrating. My dad's like, " I don't want to tell you these things blahlfjksdfjlfakfdksjfsf." I'm still wondering if I'm at fault for not being more productive at home like .. being a Cinderella and cleaning up everywhere and doing everything .. and then like.

Lolshit.

Its hard to clean up in my house too sometimes because my house is already always really clean. Everyone in my house (Dad,Mom,Me) always clean up after ourselves ... never leave a mess ... yeah.

Sigh.

Yesterday my dad was scolding me and then mentioned how I'm the type of daughter who won't come back home after I graduate or... go about in the world. Whats ironic is that I've always told myself that after I"m successful, I'm going to go repay my parents and give them things they want and come back home and shit like that and now my dad is like OH YOU'RE AN ANIMAL BARBARIAN WHO WON'T EVER LEARN OR COME BACK HOME TO YOUR PARENTS erlksjdfkdjfdsf.

Lol maybe I won't now that I think about it. I feel like I'm suffocating and being pushed against a wall. I wouldn't say hatred is forming but I just feel so like ... fine, if thats the way you think I'll just DO that. My parents really think lowly of me sometimes.

Like at lunch, sometimes I don't eat what my mom packed for me or something because I"m too busy studying in the library or something .. and we aren't able to eat in the library.

Yesterday, after lunch, I had AP Bio meaning I had a hugeass test so ... couldn't eat in bio either? I come home and told my mom I didn't eat my lunch and in the most sarcastic, nastiest tone she's like, "Oh what did you go buy and eat something else?" and I was already tired/fedup/frustrated/pissed at my entire day and the night before because my mom fucked up my study period so I retaliated and just yelled back at my mom.. Then my mom started yelling back, we fought. Then my dad joined in, Dad & Mom VS Jackie. Yeah.

Lol this reminds me of the time in 7th grade where I was actually diagnosed as a depressed child and my parents would always scream at me how they should've never raised me because I'm useless and just a burden and that I should just disappear.. Yeah well, back then I did. I thought maybe I should disappear, wouldn't I make their lives better?

This idea popped up in my head daily:

The people who brought me into this world will be the exact reason why I'll leave it.

Goodshit.

Maybe This Is Why

Maybe this is why I don't apologize to my parents. Other than the fact that I was raised to never say sorry to my parents cause my dad always told me that saying sorry has no value because its just words.. Whatever happened already happened and a few words isn't going to change anything.

So I just apologized to my mom, felt hella odd, wasn't sure if I should.. but I did. I apologized, a quick apology but I did it.. and now I'm left with tears in my eyes.

Bad Girl

Edited:

5:22PM

Get out of my faceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Holyjesuschrist.

=_____=; I'm exhausted, but you don't know that. Leave me the fck alone. holyshit your breath smells like shit too. Now I can't even nap, great.

TOO MUCH SHIT HAPPENING. You demand so much from me too. The fuck was up your ass yesterday when you scolded me as I entered the car. the fuck. I was like "Hi ^__^" too and you're liek DLFKJDSFSJKDLFJf. fuck you, god.

Also, why SO DEAF? SDKFJSD. Okay I guess you guys are aging but fuck, I hate raising my voice. I don't want to grow up like you. I definitely. I'm not going to grow up into this loudass woman who raises her voice at a tad bit of things-not-going-my-way. God. Calm the fuck down. SIT down cause thats all you do anyway.

fuck, I don't know what else to say, holymolyjesus of fuckers.

On another note. LOL YOU KNOW WHAT. FCK THAT. What the fck have I been doing. Jesus christ.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

In the library:

Pictures Before&After Blogging:

I am a bad girl. LOL, shiet, ditching 5th period right now because I don't really understand what I'm doing in Pre-Cal. Hm, I'm studying for history next period. Ohgod, time to write two essays and do the rest of the test in my given amount of time.

I also love my favorite sophomore Michelle. [: (LOL she's right behind me and she read the title of my blog)

I just realized I like all girls who are named Michelle. Michelle's are awesome, like unnie&michytallhalmuni.

I'll probably edit this post later or something ... since I haven't blogged in a while. How is everyone doing? :] I miss a lot of people cause I've been dead.

OH. On a happy note, I got the most orgasmic smelling body wash in my life. "Juicy Pomegranate and Mango Infusions" by Soft Soap. YEAHUH. Got it from CVS yesterday. I also got me some nice grapefruit lemongrass Dove conditioner that is also scrumptious.

Oh, right so I'm at the library right now, where I normally am when I ditch. I finally got some of my peppermint mocha from Starbucks this morning. LOL my ditching buddies aren't here right now except that some of my friends are in the library, ditching too. LOL ... K now we're having a study party together in the corner of the library where the macs are. ohoho.

Um, OH. OH OH. I have to post my "Thank Yous" in that thread. I'll be sure to link my post in my personal message on msn later.

OH. BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING. YES. K, I'll talk about this later. I got hellov lotion and other lovely thangs from Victoria Secret though.

I also met a new good friend from Richmond, B.C. Is that how I address the place .. wut. LOL.. K so his name is Derick and he's pretty dandy. [:

AP Bio test tomorrow, AP Comp Sci quiz, and Spanish test ... scandalous.

I should go back to studying for history now. Gootbyeloves.

Hey I love you all, yeah?